As usual Lisa wise words. I think your opt in decision is the right one- generous and kind.
Like you I find myself thinking - what do I do here? I’ve still not got it sussed but I try to think how will I feel if I over promise and ....... I will feel better if I do what I can and no more, not so stressed, happier and ultimately physically better.
It’s a new road to travel I guess having lived a life where I largely have pleased others and put them first. I’m far more likely to give of my best If I’m true to myself, more likely to recover.
Thank you, Jane! This is a new road for me, too. I've always been an over-giver, over-pleaser, over-promiser. I'm getting better at setting boundaries, but today it dawned me that I still think of these boundaries in terms of "what is the max that I can give?" A better question for me, I think, is "what kind/amount of giving would feel good to me?" I want to get better at backing away from my max threshold and centering myself in a place that feels nourishing and sustainable.
Thank you for these words, Lisa. My birthday was towards the end of December, and my Covid-aversary is towards the end of March, so I'm very aware right now of what I sometimes think of as "my lost year." But more often than not, I think of it as the year I was forced to be profoundly honest with myself and my limitations for the first time in my life, the year that forced a deeper vulnerability than I've ever been willing to show. In a strange way, these experiences brought a greater depth of relationship to the friends who've been willing to stick around. Before getting sick, I was unwilling to "test the limits" of my own neediness; now it's a necessity. I started dating someone I met last January in mid-June, and it's honestly the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, in part because I'm more intentional with my boundaries than I've ever been. Physically and materially, I don't have much to show for from this past year. I want to leave space to mourn the life I'm not able to live. However, there's been so much more space for noticing and getting curious about my insecurities, and I know this new-found self knowledge will benefit me down the road, whether my symptoms stick around or not.
You expressed this so beautifully, Grace, and your experiences and growth resonate with my own. As far as running and climbing and traveling and my intended career development go, this has been a lost year for me. But when it comes to learning to accepting my own limitations, getting comfortable with vulnerability, embracing uncertainty, deepening my truest relationships (and discarding others), honoring my own boundaries, accepting help, and being brave enough to just be myself . . . well, in those regards, this has been my biggest and best year yet. Like you say, this will help me whether or not my body fully heals. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and congratulations on your new and healthy relationship!
As usual Lisa wise words. I think your opt in decision is the right one- generous and kind.
Like you I find myself thinking - what do I do here? I’ve still not got it sussed but I try to think how will I feel if I over promise and ....... I will feel better if I do what I can and no more, not so stressed, happier and ultimately physically better.
It’s a new road to travel I guess having lived a life where I largely have pleased others and put them first. I’m far more likely to give of my best If I’m true to myself, more likely to recover.
Thanks for your time with this.
Jane
Thank you, Jane! This is a new road for me, too. I've always been an over-giver, over-pleaser, over-promiser. I'm getting better at setting boundaries, but today it dawned me that I still think of these boundaries in terms of "what is the max that I can give?" A better question for me, I think, is "what kind/amount of giving would feel good to me?" I want to get better at backing away from my max threshold and centering myself in a place that feels nourishing and sustainable.
Thank you for these words, Lisa. My birthday was towards the end of December, and my Covid-aversary is towards the end of March, so I'm very aware right now of what I sometimes think of as "my lost year." But more often than not, I think of it as the year I was forced to be profoundly honest with myself and my limitations for the first time in my life, the year that forced a deeper vulnerability than I've ever been willing to show. In a strange way, these experiences brought a greater depth of relationship to the friends who've been willing to stick around. Before getting sick, I was unwilling to "test the limits" of my own neediness; now it's a necessity. I started dating someone I met last January in mid-June, and it's honestly the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, in part because I'm more intentional with my boundaries than I've ever been. Physically and materially, I don't have much to show for from this past year. I want to leave space to mourn the life I'm not able to live. However, there's been so much more space for noticing and getting curious about my insecurities, and I know this new-found self knowledge will benefit me down the road, whether my symptoms stick around or not.
You expressed this so beautifully, Grace, and your experiences and growth resonate with my own. As far as running and climbing and traveling and my intended career development go, this has been a lost year for me. But when it comes to learning to accepting my own limitations, getting comfortable with vulnerability, embracing uncertainty, deepening my truest relationships (and discarding others), honoring my own boundaries, accepting help, and being brave enough to just be myself . . . well, in those regards, this has been my biggest and best year yet. Like you say, this will help me whether or not my body fully heals. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and congratulations on your new and healthy relationship!