There is an Eastern Red Cedar in the woods near my house, who has been a dear friend to me these past few years. Around the time of my one year Covidiversary, I found myself sitting next to her, weeping with grief. One of her branches was attached by a vine to a neighboring snag, and with each waft of breeze, this branch creaked. My crying and the branch’s creaking merged into a single song. I felt seen by this tree. Held by that place. Supported in a way that allowed me to grieve fully and deeply. Since then, I have greeted Cedar the way you might greet any friend who has seen you reduced to a shaking mass of snot and tears and been brave enough to stay rooted by your side.
This is a beautiful post, Lisa. I'm feeling supported today by all the evidence of life outside my window: the tender green of spring, the circling turkey vultures, robins pecking in the grass, even the stinkbugs somehow making their way through my screens.
Before I moved into my new home, some of the best grieving I did was walking in a favorite park in my (now previous) neighborhood, leaning my cheek against the scratchy bark of the tall pines, feeling them holding me as I felt the anticipatory loss of their company. I really can't think of any sturdier source of support than those majestic, wise arboreal wizards. However, as I unpacked books after my move, I felt fortified at the sight of those beloved books that have been with me through thick and thin for decades of life. I heard my mother's voice, repeating what her father told her: "you will always have a friend in a book." So true.
What is helping me connect? Why, your words right here! A moment to breathe, and thank all the trees I've leaned on. Thanks too for the David Whyte poem, one I didn't know. His accounting of the supporters made me smile: "You must note / the way the soap dish enables you, / or the window latch grants you freedom." Obviously my own list of supporters isn't long enough! :-)
My children constantly support me, in ways that are such a mind-eff because care support is such a grind! But when I breathe and see what’s in front of me, the light in their eyes is so real and star-filled…I lapped up this love song to your tree (and those back bends!!) Honestly, I would not be sane without trees, they have caught and given back to me so many of my songs 💞💞 I am also trying to lean on books again for support. After a stressful move my mind has been unable to settle for long periods but I’m trying to work up its muscles again…
Resonant, as ever. I’m reading the Hidden Life of Trees now. Highly recommend.
Your writing - amazing
This is a beautiful post, Lisa. I'm feeling supported today by all the evidence of life outside my window: the tender green of spring, the circling turkey vultures, robins pecking in the grass, even the stinkbugs somehow making their way through my screens.
Before I moved into my new home, some of the best grieving I did was walking in a favorite park in my (now previous) neighborhood, leaning my cheek against the scratchy bark of the tall pines, feeling them holding me as I felt the anticipatory loss of their company. I really can't think of any sturdier source of support than those majestic, wise arboreal wizards. However, as I unpacked books after my move, I felt fortified at the sight of those beloved books that have been with me through thick and thin for decades of life. I heard my mother's voice, repeating what her father told her: "you will always have a friend in a book." So true.
What is helping me connect? Why, your words right here! A moment to breathe, and thank all the trees I've leaned on. Thanks too for the David Whyte poem, one I didn't know. His accounting of the supporters made me smile: "You must note / the way the soap dish enables you, / or the window latch grants you freedom." Obviously my own list of supporters isn't long enough! :-)
My children constantly support me, in ways that are such a mind-eff because care support is such a grind! But when I breathe and see what’s in front of me, the light in their eyes is so real and star-filled…I lapped up this love song to your tree (and those back bends!!) Honestly, I would not be sane without trees, they have caught and given back to me so many of my songs 💞💞 I am also trying to lean on books again for support. After a stressful move my mind has been unable to settle for long periods but I’m trying to work up its muscles again…
❤️👌