Thank you, Rosita! I've been thinking a lot lately about some of these same things . . . the fact that we all need to be seen . . . really, truly, deeply seen. I have a few friends and family members who really see me - who can see my suffering without looking away but who also see that I am so much more than the hard things I'm going through. We all are! These connections here feel like mirrors - like being witnessed in a way that helps me to feel more accepting of myself. Rosita, from my interactions with you, I can tell that you are kind, wise, and giving. I can tell that you know how to laugh, even when times are hard! Thank you for sharing yourself!
Thanks for this Lisa. You are such a talented writer. I love seeing your e-mails in my in box.
I can identify with your examination of identities. Ha, ha. Thankfully I am able to work again. I still don't work full days, but my employer is very understanding, and I am thankful for that. A few months back when I was much worse, I was unable to work for about three months. Sitting around, in the middle of a work day, not being able to work, or really do anything else, I found out how much my identity and sense of self-worth was wrapped up in/tied to my position at work. I do love my job and the people I work with, but it seemed very clear that something was wrong in regard to how I value myself. Before covid/long-covid, I was rocking along, doing okay. But long-covid forced me to examine myself and my identities. I used to love to ride off-road dirt bikes. Hope to do it again one day. I hope to be able to feel comfortable to drive 150miles from home to visit relatives. I know now that too much of my sense of self was tied up in my position at work, and am trying to be mindful of that, and do a good job of course, but know there is so much more. What else can we do but try to find some good things to take form this long-covid? Thanks again for this most recent article. I found it very uplifting. You really are quite a writer. I hope to read one of your books some day if you publish one. : )
Thank you so much, Frank! I’m working - very slowly - on a novel and you all will be the first to hear when it’s finished! I really appreciate your sharing your experiences and perspective. I’m also finding that I was too invested in some of my identities . . . there is loss and pain in releasing them but there’s also spaciousness and possibility. You’re right - what else can we do but try to take some good from this wild ride? I’m wishing you continued healing and growth and hoping you’ll be able to visit family and ride dirt bikes in the not-too-distant future!
Your post is thoughtful and timely as I’ve been pondering this and struggling with it for a while. Feel quite sad about it and I know others do too. However, it is what it is and things change and that is ok. Perhaps opportunities come along.😊
"It is what it is and things change and that is ok" - this is such a simple idea but so powerful. I said to a friend recently that it's okay that I'm sick, and she was really insistent that it's NOT okay. I think I understand where she was coming from . . . she doesn't want me to suffer and doesn't want me to think I deserve suffering. But I still feel like it really is okay, and to me that's a powerful comfort. It's okay for life to change me . . . we're supposed to be changed by our experiences. I don't WANT to continue being ill, but I understand now in a way that I didn't a year ago that life is hard. I think if I were to create a narrative for myself in which all this suffering is unfair and tell myself that my life is ruined, then all of that would become self-fulfilling. But instead when I accept that life is sometimes really hard and that it's okay for things to be hard . . . well, it sort of transforms the whole experience. I made a new friend recently who has suffered tremendous loss and trauma for beyond the scope of my own experience. And for the first time in my life, I don't feel worried about saying the right thing or trying to offer comfort because I feel down to my bones that the only thing I really can offer that has any value is to be willing to see his suffering and also see that he is more than just that suffering. We are more than our suffering, too.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It came at the right time for me as I have spent a lot of time thinking about this recently. Being physically and mentally unable to do a lot of things I loved to do and the things that I felt made me who I am, it left me feeling very confused, sad and worried about the future and whether I would ever return to my previous self and all the roles and identities that came with that. I spent so much time pushing myself to get back there.
However, the more I have thought about it, I have started to see all these new and amazing things about myself that have developed from going through such a difficult and traumatic journey. I’m now seeing them as gifts that are shaping me into a different me that I already absolutely love. A me that I could only have wished for. I just need to let go and just be, as you said. Why go through all of this, if not to come out of it completely and forever changed. Fully me.
Oh my God, that last line you wrote is everything. I’m going to repeat this to myself over and over today - “Why go through all of this, if not to come out of it completely and forever changed. Fully me.” Thank you for this!
Keep writing! It is making such a difference for so many of us. I believe your writing and helping people through one of the darkest times of their life is one of your Corona gifts and maybe part of you being fully changed as well. Part of being fully you. Thank you
I keep having this thought that stemmed from spending so much time alone - trying to learn to separate from all that is not me. To recognize when absorbing negativity/worries/fears from others that do not come from me! Will be more difficult staying in this mindset/the moment when have to reintegrate with people , but it’s a nice starting platform!
I’ve been thinking about this, too. As much as I look forward to being with friends again, some mental and emotional habits are easier to nourish in solitude! I think simply holding that awareness and knowing our own intentions is a powerful start, though.
I was sick also before covid.
I really struggeld with.. Who am i now?
What can i add off worth to this world?
I feel this covid Journey is unfair and horribel! But like you say it only hurts more to hold on to that thought...
I am.. I still am..
And I can do small things of worth to me and others.
I try to see What actully works for me.
I feel thankfull when i meet with my kids.
Talk to a friend on The Phone.
Look at beautifull spring flowers.
So than.. Im still a mom.
Still a friend.
Still someone that can see and smell.
I think we miss mirroring in others!
I can see that you Lisa are talented in writing, generous and honest and kind.
We should try to tell others more of What we see in them.
It is natural to griev.
Change and loss.
But i try to not stay there.. Pass through..
And visit again and pass through..
Be kind to my self. I made it so far....
I think a person is soo valuble just beeing, without doing.
I learned a lot about that taking care of a woman after her stroke. She gave so much by just beeing.
Thank you, Rosita! I've been thinking a lot lately about some of these same things . . . the fact that we all need to be seen . . . really, truly, deeply seen. I have a few friends and family members who really see me - who can see my suffering without looking away but who also see that I am so much more than the hard things I'm going through. We all are! These connections here feel like mirrors - like being witnessed in a way that helps me to feel more accepting of myself. Rosita, from my interactions with you, I can tell that you are kind, wise, and giving. I can tell that you know how to laugh, even when times are hard! Thank you for sharing yourself!
Thanks for this Lisa. You are such a talented writer. I love seeing your e-mails in my in box.
I can identify with your examination of identities. Ha, ha. Thankfully I am able to work again. I still don't work full days, but my employer is very understanding, and I am thankful for that. A few months back when I was much worse, I was unable to work for about three months. Sitting around, in the middle of a work day, not being able to work, or really do anything else, I found out how much my identity and sense of self-worth was wrapped up in/tied to my position at work. I do love my job and the people I work with, but it seemed very clear that something was wrong in regard to how I value myself. Before covid/long-covid, I was rocking along, doing okay. But long-covid forced me to examine myself and my identities. I used to love to ride off-road dirt bikes. Hope to do it again one day. I hope to be able to feel comfortable to drive 150miles from home to visit relatives. I know now that too much of my sense of self was tied up in my position at work, and am trying to be mindful of that, and do a good job of course, but know there is so much more. What else can we do but try to find some good things to take form this long-covid? Thanks again for this most recent article. I found it very uplifting. You really are quite a writer. I hope to read one of your books some day if you publish one. : )
Thank you so much, Frank! I’m working - very slowly - on a novel and you all will be the first to hear when it’s finished! I really appreciate your sharing your experiences and perspective. I’m also finding that I was too invested in some of my identities . . . there is loss and pain in releasing them but there’s also spaciousness and possibility. You’re right - what else can we do but try to take some good from this wild ride? I’m wishing you continued healing and growth and hoping you’ll be able to visit family and ride dirt bikes in the not-too-distant future!
Your post is thoughtful and timely as I’ve been pondering this and struggling with it for a while. Feel quite sad about it and I know others do too. However, it is what it is and things change and that is ok. Perhaps opportunities come along.😊
"It is what it is and things change and that is ok" - this is such a simple idea but so powerful. I said to a friend recently that it's okay that I'm sick, and she was really insistent that it's NOT okay. I think I understand where she was coming from . . . she doesn't want me to suffer and doesn't want me to think I deserve suffering. But I still feel like it really is okay, and to me that's a powerful comfort. It's okay for life to change me . . . we're supposed to be changed by our experiences. I don't WANT to continue being ill, but I understand now in a way that I didn't a year ago that life is hard. I think if I were to create a narrative for myself in which all this suffering is unfair and tell myself that my life is ruined, then all of that would become self-fulfilling. But instead when I accept that life is sometimes really hard and that it's okay for things to be hard . . . well, it sort of transforms the whole experience. I made a new friend recently who has suffered tremendous loss and trauma for beyond the scope of my own experience. And for the first time in my life, I don't feel worried about saying the right thing or trying to offer comfort because I feel down to my bones that the only thing I really can offer that has any value is to be willing to see his suffering and also see that he is more than just that suffering. We are more than our suffering, too.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It came at the right time for me as I have spent a lot of time thinking about this recently. Being physically and mentally unable to do a lot of things I loved to do and the things that I felt made me who I am, it left me feeling very confused, sad and worried about the future and whether I would ever return to my previous self and all the roles and identities that came with that. I spent so much time pushing myself to get back there.
However, the more I have thought about it, I have started to see all these new and amazing things about myself that have developed from going through such a difficult and traumatic journey. I’m now seeing them as gifts that are shaping me into a different me that I already absolutely love. A me that I could only have wished for. I just need to let go and just be, as you said. Why go through all of this, if not to come out of it completely and forever changed. Fully me.
Oh my God, that last line you wrote is everything. I’m going to repeat this to myself over and over today - “Why go through all of this, if not to come out of it completely and forever changed. Fully me.” Thank you for this!
Keep writing! It is making such a difference for so many of us. I believe your writing and helping people through one of the darkest times of their life is one of your Corona gifts and maybe part of you being fully changed as well. Part of being fully you. Thank you
These words mean so much to me - thank you! 💕
Yes! I am! Gonna rock that mini skirt😄
I keep having this thought that stemmed from spending so much time alone - trying to learn to separate from all that is not me. To recognize when absorbing negativity/worries/fears from others that do not come from me! Will be more difficult staying in this mindset/the moment when have to reintegrate with people , but it’s a nice starting platform!
I’ve been thinking about this, too. As much as I look forward to being with friends again, some mental and emotional habits are easier to nourish in solitude! I think simply holding that awareness and knowing our own intentions is a powerful start, though.
Oh my gosh, these words mirror how my year has been. Thank you!
Thank you, Evin! I’m glad it resonated with you. 💕
Forgot to say Thankyou Lisa 💙
All comments feel like thank you’s to me! 💕