Since launching this newsletter last July, I’ve been lucky enough to swap emails with quite a few of you. I love hearing your stories and am continually blown away by the instant and effortless connection I feel with other long-haulers. One part of this whole emailing thing trips me up every time, though. The ending. How do I end an email to someone living their life on the up and down roller coaster of long Covid?
Hi, Lisa! I have been struggling with how to answer the "how are you?" question from friends, family and colleagues. Lately, I usually just say, "about the same". I actually don't really want people to think I am okay now, but I also don't want to burden people with complaints and lists of symptoms. And for some months now, I feel almost guilty for not getting better - I feel like I am disappointing people over and over. I don't want people to stop asking, but I also feel bad when they do. The newest thing I have noticed is people ending messages to me with things like, "I hope you are all better now!" So it's not really a question, and thus far, I have chosen not to answer it - if I say "Happy Birthday" to someone on FB and they reply in a comment saying "I hope you are all better", it feels self-centered to say, "well, actually, no I am not!". But I immediately feel this combination of guilt and irritation - guilt that I can never say, "yes, I am!" and make them feel happy, but irritation that they are stating it as an assumption. I imagine this is what people with chronic illnesses feel all the time. And I actually don't know what I would suggest to people to do differently -- maybe I should send them your long paragraph and ask them to say that!! Anyway, always enjoy your writing...and I wish you light and hope and self-compassion, wherever you are today!!
Very nicely put! My daughters often text and ask how I’m feeling. Do I give them the list of issues or just say “not too bad today”. Usually pick the latter.
Hello Lisa I really like the long ending to the mail that you suggest. It’s soothing and connects me with you and other friends of our cafe. I am now fully vaccinated but still up and down - and sorry to say but I struggle to let go of my frustration and anger. So I will ask you all what do you do with your anger and frustration? Lots of love Sofia
Hi, Lisa! I have been struggling with how to answer the "how are you?" question from friends, family and colleagues. Lately, I usually just say, "about the same". I actually don't really want people to think I am okay now, but I also don't want to burden people with complaints and lists of symptoms. And for some months now, I feel almost guilty for not getting better - I feel like I am disappointing people over and over. I don't want people to stop asking, but I also feel bad when they do. The newest thing I have noticed is people ending messages to me with things like, "I hope you are all better now!" So it's not really a question, and thus far, I have chosen not to answer it - if I say "Happy Birthday" to someone on FB and they reply in a comment saying "I hope you are all better", it feels self-centered to say, "well, actually, no I am not!". But I immediately feel this combination of guilt and irritation - guilt that I can never say, "yes, I am!" and make them feel happy, but irritation that they are stating it as an assumption. I imagine this is what people with chronic illnesses feel all the time. And I actually don't know what I would suggest to people to do differently -- maybe I should send them your long paragraph and ask them to say that!! Anyway, always enjoy your writing...and I wish you light and hope and self-compassion, wherever you are today!!
Very nicely put! My daughters often text and ask how I’m feeling. Do I give them the list of issues or just say “not too bad today”. Usually pick the latter.
That’s so true about the difficulty in ending an e-mail without sounding trite. I loved your long ending! Hope your day brings you some happiness.
Hello Lisa I really like the long ending to the mail that you suggest. It’s soothing and connects me with you and other friends of our cafe. I am now fully vaccinated but still up and down - and sorry to say but I struggle to let go of my frustration and anger. So I will ask you all what do you do with your anger and frustration? Lots of love Sofia